I need to talk about it and I need someone to be there for me. I just need to be skinny again. I know I gained so much weight over the few months where I just let myself go, and although everyone’s telling me that I’m looking great, I don’t feel good at all. I feel so fucking fat and disgusting and gross, and I hate it. I don’t have much confidence anymore, cause all I see in the mirror is my fat rolls and by thunder thighs. I want my shoulder bones to stick out again, I want my stomach to be flat.
The dieting has started again. Restrictive eating. Trying to keep it to less than 500 calories a day again but I’m getting so light headed it’s crazy. I think it’s cause my period is here, but really, it’s fucking insane. I can’t even slowly stand up without feeling like fainting. And I cant go on this way. Fuck it. Serious.
I need to lose weight so that I’ll be thinner than SQ, B, CL and SL. I would say D too, but she’s a fat fuck, really. I just need to be skinny before I see them again, so that I can shut them the fuck up. Urgh. I hate them so much man. Fucking losers. -.- Okay anyway. I need to go. bai